I’ll admit, when I first came home from the hospital it always felt like there was pressure on me from the outside world and from myself, that I needed to get back into running. Its almost like people and myself allowed running to be the definition of me. Or maybe it was because my accident happened with my running team. I’m not too sure what the exact cause was but it existed for four months. I remember even laying in the ICU hospital bed asking my doctors and nurses if I could run track which was a little more than four months away. Everyone said yes.
When I got home I worked my butt off and spent my little bit of energy working through physical therapy as best as I could to wait and see when I would be able to run again. Finally one of the last days in December of that year, a miracle happened. I ran. It was incredible and amazing and felt like this is where I am meant to be. Running. Mind you it was just like 100m or so down the hallway but boy was it a start!
When everyone would see me they would ask when are you going to run? Do you miss running? Its like running all of a sudden was something I absolutely had to be doing. It seemed like people didn’t know who I was without running. The funny thing is, I wasn’t some amazing runner; instead I was a middle of the pack, mediocre, runner just working hard to try and get better and faster. It just doesn’t really make sense to me.
What I am saying is just how frustrating it is that people are always asking me, so do you still run? For now, my answer is no. I had tried for a little bit but then one day it felt like I was dragging an anchor along the treadmill. It was uncomfortable and didn’t feel right. Trust me, as a runner I know. Bottom line, that was the last time I ran and that was more than a month ago. But it didn’t stop me from being active. I then spent my following sessions going to the gym and rowing on a stationary row machine. For the past month I rowed for 25mins 5000m and my oh my, it was tough workout! I was getting the same exciting endorphin feeling and yet I wasn’t even running! It was shocking to myself. I sometimes feel disappointed about not running right now but I believe that you must do what is right for your body even if everyone else cannot understand. Even if everyone else makes it seem like running is so important. I say redefine yourself. Let your character and everything else good that you do, stand out! Just because you don’t run right now doesn’t mean you aren’t a runner. A runner is a way of life and mindset to persevere through all the ups and downs of the road. Just keep on keepin on – as my high school cross coach used to say