Let’s flashback to my first day of college… That day never ended, well it did but instead I woke up a week later in the hospital. Yes, I started college off on a very distinct and different way. When I eventually was released from the hospital, I began to go to cognitive therapy. Interestingly I was tested in various areas such as language, reading, and math (especially since I had wanted to study engineering). I strongly recall the blank look I gave simple math problems. I couldn’t remember 8×5 (equals 40 by the way) or other easy math. All of that was gone.
For most of my life, I struggled with math and it was never a strong point. The only reason I even took AP calculus AB in high school was because I wanted to study engineering. I HATED math! I laugh at this now. Anyways, the math folder in my brain, kind of like folders on the my computer, felt hidden. It was blocked until I was retaught. Then it was as if I double clicked the folder open. Little by little I began to relearn math. By the following semester, about 5 months after my accident, and by the grace of G-d, I took an elementary algebra class. Surprisingly I was relearning math and understanding. For the first time, math was becoming fun! That’s right…fun!! The following semester I was signed up to take the lowest level engineering math and on the first day we took a quick placement exam to make sure we were in the right course. Turned out that I did really well on it and my professor strongly encouraged me to take the next level engineering math. Over the period of the next few days I struggled with the idea and definitely prayed for guidance. Well it helped that my friend was in that class. So I switched over. I felt completely lost but every night Monday through Thursday, I attended tutoring sessions, even if I finished the homework.
Then came our first test, it was hard. When the results came out, everyone began to murmur. Nearly everyone had failed. Well, everyone except three people. As for me, I was one of the three! It felt unreal but it was in that moment that I knew G-d was confirming my question about if I could and should study engineering. It was then I felt sure that G-d was going to help me through this. That this is what I was to do. I have struggled with it nearly every day since but it has led to more beautiful and unexpected blessings than I ever would have expected.
Since then I have spent numerous hours working one-on-one with tutors and studying the various math concepts to pass each class. My calculus one class, I did well enough that I didn’t even have to take the final. Then there was the calculus two class that I nearly failed and my professor thought I was approaching too pessimistically. Until I got a really high grade on the final which pushed my grade up to a B+. Well and then came my latest course of calculus three with an older and wiser polish professor which I enjoyed and understood almost all the way through.
Well I share that whole story to bring you up to speed with what happened today. Today as I am supposed to be studying for my differential equations/ linear algebra midterm but instead I am extremely unfocused. I received an invitation to join Kappa Mu Epsilon, a national mathematics fraternity at my university! The most unexpected and exciting honor considering my past with math. I nearly laughed when I first read the email in disbelief.
Now as the sun has set and the day is wrapping up I smile with thanksgiving for how good G-d is, how wonderful it is to be able to learn and discover mathematics and to actually understand most of what I’ve learned. G-d has an incredible formula for my life and interestingly I’m not sure what it is but I know that G-d has the answer. I know that G-d continues to solve and lead me to the next part and continues to add blessings which I never would have expected. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and amazed by Him!