I’m a bit stressed and a bit unhappy. Why you might ask? Because I am a planner. AND, I don’t know what’s next? I probably get in G-d’s way all the time because of this and yet its in my nature. I feel uneasy because I don’t know what I want and what I even want to be the next step. Come May, comes cap and gown and a big question mark? So what am I to do until then….I guess pray, search, look and talk to different people. Just how am I to know what is right for me? What is it I am really looking for? How am I to know when I find it? Do I have too high of expectations? Am I lost? Where am I going?
After reading about the horrific freak accident which North Texas Community College’s Softball team went through this weekend, my heart goes out to them. This was my team and I just a few years ago, when we were in an accident. The very accident that claimed the life of 4 people that night. There were 4 softball players also killed in this accident just a few days ago. There are two girls still in the hospital. Back to my accident, there were three of us and then two, my roomate and I, as freshmen. I will definitely keep this community, team, and players in prayer as I know the power which prayer can contain.
If you can, please pray for North Texas Community.
The best words of encouragement for me came from the Bible, this is for all those impacted, Joshua 1:9, “Be strong and of good courage, be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed, for the Lord thy G-d will be with thee, withersoever thou goest”.
365 Years Later and my goal has been met! Thank G-d for the experiences and writing that began a full year ago. Hard to believe its been that long, and yet during certain periods of time it felt so quick! I guess that quote, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” – Lao Tzu.
Over the past 365 I have been to 2 different countries (Israel & Canada), over 23 states (CA, NV, NM, AZ, TX, OK, MO, Il, IN, OH, PA, NY, MD, DE, NJ, KY, IO, NB, WY, UT, AL, FL, OR). I moved to Ohio for nearly 4 months and made some of the best friends. I went on dates! I went to Jewish events. I grew. I learned more. I lost weight. I completed a mini-triathalon. I learned to wake-board and long-board! I spoke in front of more than 150 different neuro doctors, surgeons, therapists and specialists. I finished reading the Bible in english and have started on it in Hebrew. I competed on a rec-soccer team! I laughed. I changed. Life changed. I lost one of my grandfathers, may he rest in peace. I didn’t get the best of grades but I passed. I got extremely sick and had to change my diet and I still sometimes have bad days. I served in homeless ministries. I cried. I hurt. I experienced depression.
But, then I woke up each morning with hope that each day would be different. And it was. Life moves on. Things come and some go. I built friendships and lost some. I travelled and photographed along the way. I built connections and experiences that help me to not feel awkward when in situations of not knowing anyone. I have become more extroverted yet still need my quiet, me time. I am still searching for balance. I am still trying to learn more. I am still trying to become who I am. Today marks 365 days of change and for that I am grateful. I am grateful for the urge to start writing that I felt prior to all of this. Today I still struggle to embrace change but over this past year, I have discovered that change happens when you let go and allow yourself to. Change happens in small steps not in big leaps and its something that still takes time to adjust. My life is not perfect or perfectly coordinated with everything I want. However, life is filled with bigger blessings than imaginable and will happen when I do not get in the way of myself or in the way of G-d. I am excited and feel challenged to continue to blog for the next 365 days to see what comes along the way. Here’s to another year of Embracing Change!
Last weekend I was blessed with the opportunity to go to my friends lake house and learn to wake board! I will admit that the week beforehand was crazy and I was questioning how I would be able to make it. But once I was there I felt a release of stress. The stillness of the water relaxed me and helped me to enjoy the weekend and not worry too much about homework and work. Then learning to wakeboard was awesome because it’s such an adrenaline rush and because I love trying new things but often in the midst of school forget to make time. I’m grateful to have started the semester off right! So thankful for such a restful and fun weekend!
I know this post is a bit late but I have a quick story to share. Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of the tragic September 11, 2001 day that most Americans recall rather clearly. I may have only been in 3rd or 4th grade and not have fully understood the severity, I knew that the world would be different. I knew that America was in danger. I knew that innocent lives were killed. Around 2996 people in fact left this world quicker and sooner than expected. Their stories were left unwritten and with unexpected endings. Last night helping clean up an event my University had put on to pray for the victims, their families and America took place. Each flag that was placed contained a name of a victim. As I helped clean up I began to see the numbers. When you hold a box with even just a couple hundred slips of paper it is hard to recognize that each slip has a name. That name was held by a unique person with a special story. It is infathomable to know that almost 3000 people died but when you see 3000 slips of paper all of a sudden you realize just how much the world loss that day. I take back to my apartment some of the name slips to make something special. Although I was unable to put all the names which I grabbed here is just a fraction of them. I would like to offer pray for each of these individuals as well as all victims of the Sept. 11. 01 terror attacks. I pray that they rest in peace and help G-d up in Heaven. I pray for their families, friends and all who they impacted to continue to heal and coupe and let their legacy live on.
I pray for all of us to spread a little extra compassion and kindness and light not just today but everyday. Let’s change history for the better. Let’s spread goodness and today lets us remember. Tomorrow let us not forget.
Place a flag in your heart.