I really struggle with tests. I especially dislike tests for subjects which I struggle to understand the concepts or the formulas. Today I had a big midterm and yesterday I did as well. Now that these tests are done, I feel like I can think a bit more clearly. Also, I had a conversation with a friend today that also reminded me of the beauty of tests. In my opinion there are two types of tests. One is a literal test maybe checking your math or english skills. The other is more figurative in terms of life, these are often known as “trials” or various situations or scenarios that I might struggle with. Lets break these two up a bit more.
1. Literal Tests. I am grateful that the past two tests I was able to study and prepare for and hopefully it helps me to do my best. However, I am thankful that one of the tests which seemed the harder of the two, also has test corrections where I can gain more points despite not necessarily doing everything right the first time. I think this is special because it proves that you are able to recognize why you did something wrong and then to correct and fix it. Despite all the red ink, it allows me to turn in a test that I feel more confident with, the second time around. Also if I did do well initially, it is nice to know that my thought processes were on the right track. Anyway, with literal tests it seems that you work hard all semester to prove you know what is being taught in class or on your own. You are trying to prove your worth of knowledge to the professor. Interestingly I think this connects us perfectly to figurative tests.
2. Figurative tests. Trials. I know there are various situations I struggle with some include my thought processes through different scenarios. However today I was reminded of how no matter how hard a trial seems, the joy that will come as result will be that much greater. It seems to be that sometimes I must take a step back in order to move two steps forward. It is always helpful to know that G-d will not give us trials or challenges we cannot handle. AND even if He does, He will help carry us through. So beautiful when you think about how its almost like He is challenging us to prove our worth not to Him (as He already knows it) but to ourselves. It is also I think a challenge to prove our worth to Him as well and to remember to have faith despite the uncertainty. There may not be “formulas” for these types of trials however I think words like these are rather encouraging, “Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” – Psalm 27:14
One quick story about tests. I still recall one day when I was in the hospital my high school coach came to visit me. CP came with suitcase filled to the brim with gifts but more importantly he came filled with hope, inspiration and encouragement for me. I remember our conversation despite my health’s instability at the time. CP told me that this challange I was going through, was my new mountain to climb however he reminded me just how amazing the view will be once I reach the top. To me that was enough. It still is. Its hope.
All in all tests sometimes (most of the time) really stink. However if you do your best to prepare, keep your faith, and trust G-d; beauty, joy, and happiness often seem to be the result. Today I am grateful for tests and more so for the joy that comes after!