Enough about finals and school. As per my last too posts I’m about to take you on a ride to totally rock your world as it did mine. The past few days I have been spending time with my Bubie, my grandmother on my mothers side. When I initially decided to come visit her it was sitting in the bathroom in the middle of northern Israel and I was on the verge of tears. This was a few months ago and here I was getting to see my Bubie. Yet she had just fallen and didn’t seem to be doing too well. It hit me hard when I was helping her undress and get ready for bed. First off I am glad I was there and able to help. It just was hard because I felt rushed with emotions because I’ve never had to do this with her before and she’s always been so strong especially when my grandfather was alive, may his memory be a blessing.
Anyway, back to the story of now. The past few days have suprised me of the conversations we have and what initially started just as listening has really seemed to turn into conversation and now I’m opening up and it’s such a beautiful experience. It’s unique and special and I feel as though I am becoming best friends with my grandma. I’ve been very teary eyed today and I think a rush of emotions from making a decision for me and to really listening, taking notes and hearing meaningful stories of my bubies life. It’s amazing and thank G-d for the wonderful life she lives and for app the stories she shares and how we connect on finding and maintaining our strong Jewish identity. It’s a wonder to me how back in November I struggled to be around my grandmother and she frustrated me.
Yet I’ve changed. I sometimes feel more go with the flow. I am trying to pay attention, embrace and enjoy. I’m trying to get to know the people that I know and love and care about but really on a truly deeper level. I also am trying to form healthy bonds and relationships with people and part of that is accepting and loving them for being human, this includes all imperfections. It’s amazing this capacity to love I feel. I haven’t talked a ton to my friends or even to my parents but rather I’ve spent time reading and or being with the people I’m around. It’s such a blessing from G-d!!! I feel the light and the connection with people I care about seemed to burn or shine brighter in my heart. I am happy and in love with people I love and care about. I am so grateful to G-d for this chance to stay with and connect with my Bubie. This gift contains stories of relatives from past, present and sometimes even future. It includes stories of dreams, aspiration, competition, love and going after what you want and not what others want for you. It’s about dealing with the card life throws at you. It’s about all sorts of books especially regarding wisdom and faith and potential that are bringing me and my Bubie together and forming a bond I never would have expected. Getting to know her is like getting to know some of my story. She set the bar high and I hadn’t even known about it. I followed her path into a make dominated field of work and trying to live my purpose which hopefully is made up of many little current purposes as hers seems to be. Wow. Overhelming and blessed. I’m grateful for G-d for this time and my grandmother and her position influence on my life more than I realize and have elaborated here. I’m grateful! Baruch HaShem (blessed be G-d)!!!!