Some days are magnificient and splendid as if nothing could ever go wrong and then of course, there are those days that make your want to cry and hide and be invisible. I am so thankful to say that yesterday was a good day. It felt like the little bit of sun in sky was shining on me and I felt like things were going the way I hoped. I even had a great run in the evening and went to dinner and shopping with a friend. It was fun. Yet, in the evening as I journaled away, I felt as though something might be wrong. I couldn’t figure out too much what it was. Here are the things that made my list:
-Maybe I am scared to be so happy or to be getting things I wanted
-Maybe the few bad memories from one good thing are coming back to scare me
-Maybe the adversary is trying to trick me into thinking what I want is bad, even though it is very clear that G-d opened the door to opportunity.
Then eventually I fell asleep. When I woke up this morning I had a bad after thought based on my dreams (rather nightmare)…of someone who had been mean and rude to me this summer. It was of that, that when I awoke, last nights feelings made a little more sense. It seems that all the good reminded me of the good this summer….until I remembered the bad and the days of pain and heartache. However, G-d pulled me through and I learned so much from that experience.
G-d willing there are more good days to come and more goodness to be joyful and excited in!